Alan
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Alan was a very recent incarnation of Bubba born in Slamchuan Province. The Bubba originally achieved Nirvana by inflicting a internal superslam within her mind, both paradoxically destroying and evolving it. Because Alan is a being with so much knowledge and wisdom, reality warps Alan's figure into the perfect being depending on who views it.

Few people have actually seen Alan, and the only person at Chapel who witnessed the enigmatic figure is Thernz, whose heart is now melded with the idea of Alan. Using Diplo's X-Ray Way Cray Zoom Technique, doctors discovered that the very atoms that comprise of Thernz's heart are now comprised of miniature Bubba heads. But considering that no one has seen Alan since, it is speculated that someone saw and killed the Bubba on the road.

It is said Alan was the master of kung fu and catch wrestling.

Because Alan's beauty was actually a space-bending fabric, she had many features. These are the documented features:

The 32 Signs of a Great Bubba

The 32 major characteristics are:

  1. Level feet
  2. Thousand-spoked wheel sign on feet
  3. Long, slender fingers
  4. Pliant hands and feet
  5. Toes and fingers finely webbed
  6. Full-sized heels
  7. Arched insteps
  8. Thighs like a royal stag
  9. Hands reaching below the knees
  10. Well-retracted female organ
  11. Height and stretch of arms equal
  12. Every hair-root dark colored
  13. Body hair graceful and curly
  14. Golden-hued body
  15. Ten-foot aura around her
  16. Soft, smooth skin
  17. Soles, palms, shoulders, and crown of head well-rounded
  18. Area below armpits well-filled
  19. Lion-shaped body
  20. Body erect and upright
  21. Full, round shoulders
  22. Forty teeth
  23. Teeth white, even, and close
  24. Four canine teeth pure white
  25. Jaw like a lion
  26. Saliva that improves the taste of all food
  27. Tongue long and broad
  28. Voice deep and resonant
  29. Eyes deep blue
  30. Eyelashes like a royal bull
  31. White ūrṇā curl that emits light between eyebrows
  32. Fleshy protuberance on the crown of the head

The 80 secondary characteristics

The eighty minor characteristics are:

  1. She has beautiful fingers and toes.
  2. She has well-proportioned fingers and toes.
  3. She has tube-shaped fingers and toes.
  4. Her fingernails and toenails have a rosy tint.
  5. Her fingernails and toenails are slightly upturned at the tip.
  6. Her fingernails and toenails are smooth and rounded without ridges.
  7. Her ankles and wrists are rounded and undented.
  8. Her feet are of equal length.
  9. She has a beautiful gait, like that of a king-elephant.
  10. She has a stately gait, like that of a king-lion.
  11. She has a beautiful gait, like that of a swan.
  12. She has a majestic gait, like that of a royal ox.
  13. Her right foot leads when walking.
  14. Her knees have no protruding kneecaps.
  15. She has the demeanor of a great man.
  16. Her navel is without blemish.
  17. She has a deep-shaped abdomen.
  18. She has clockwise marks on the abdomen.
  19. Her thighs are rounded like banana sheaves.
  20. Her two arms are shaped like an elephant's trunk.
  21. The lines on the palms of her hands have a rosy tint.
  22. Her skin is thick or thin as it should be.
  23. Her skin is unwrinkled.
  24. Her body is spotless and without lumps.
  25. Her body is unblemished above and below.
  26. Her body is absolutely free of impurities.
  27. She has the strength of 1,000 crore elephants or 100,000 crore men.
  28. She has a protruding nose.
  29. Her nose is well proportioned.
  30. Her upper and lower lips are equal in size and have a rosy tint.
  31. Her teeth are unblemished and with no plaque.
  32. Her teeth are long like polished conches.
  33. Her teeth are smooth and without ridges.
  34. Her five sense-organs are unblemished.
  35. Her four canine teeth are crystal and rounded.
  36. Her face is long and beautiful.
  37. Her cheeks are radiant.
  38. The lines on her palms are deep.
  39. The lines on her palms are long.
  40. The lines on her palms are straight.
  41. The lines on her palms have a rosy tint.
  42. Her body emanates a halo of light extending around him for two meters.
  43. Her cheek cavities are fully rounded and smooth.
  44. Her eyelids are well proportioned.
  45. The five nerves of her eyes are unblemished.
  46. The tips of her bodily hair are neither curved nor bent.
  47. She has a rounded tongue.
  48. Her tongue is soft and has a rosy-tint.
  49. Her ears are long like lotus petals.
  50. Her earholes are beautifully rounded.
  51. Her sinews and tendons don't stick out.
  52. Her sinews and tendons are deeply embedded in the flesh.
  53. Her topknot is like a crown.
  54. Her forehead is well-proportioned in length and breadth.
  55. Her forehead is rounded and beautiful.
  56. Her eyebrows are arched like a bow.
  57. The hair of her eyebrows is fine.
  58. The hair of her eyebrows lies flat.
  59. She has large brows.
  60. Her brows reach the outward corner of her eyes.
  61. Her skin is fine throughout her body.
  62. Her whole body has abundant signs of good fortune.
  63. Her body is always radiant.
  64. Her body is always refreshed like a lotus flower.
  65. Her body is exquisitely sensitive to touch.
  66. Her body has the scent of sandalwood.
  67. Her body hair is consistent in length.
  68. She has fine bodily hair.
  69. Her breath is always fine.
  70. Her mouth always has a beautiful smile.
  71. Her mouth has the scent of a lotus flower.
  72. Her hair has the colour of a dark shadow.
  73. Her hair is strongly scented.
  74. Her hair has the scent of a white lotus.
  75. She has curled hair.
  76. Her hair does not turn grey.
  77. She has fine hair.
  78. Her hair is untangled.
  79. Her hair has long curls. (Bubba may be interpreted as being bald)
  80. She has a topknot as if crowned with a royal flower garland.