Antique Table

The Antique Table was a piece of furniture stolen from Jut's Farm and placed in Resonacia's Chat Tavern. It is said to have had the ability to speak, but when it did, it usually just shouted "Penis!" It is said to house the spirit of Watsa's penis, cut off by the Drummer. The penis was said to have rolled into a forest and its nutrients contaminated an oak tree's seed, which was then coincidentally used to craft the table. Because it houses part of Watsa's consciousness, it is believed that every single word muttered around the Antique Table is engraved in its memory.

While Juts Beaumont was having dinner with Lydie Erlanger, the table reportedly spoke for the first time, exclaiming "Big fat IGA cock!" Lydie, believing Juts to be have shouted it, left in disgust. It also misplaced Jut's birthday cake.

Over time, it has learned to shape-shift in a number of things, including a tablet.