Architectural Chronicle of Diplo 2

The "Architectural Chronicle of Diplo 2" is a diaristic text authored by Diplo detailing his consequent ventures into architectural construction. Its entirety — a total of five short chapters — is detailed here. It has been pointed to as further proof of Diplo being a hapless buffoon, as if more proof were needed.

Chapter 1

fuckin skeleton arrows…
this skeleton is being the hugest piece of shit
knocked it off a platform for like 200 feet and it's still firing at me
omg help something is coming towards me and it has a kono aura and purple eyes
fuck what was that noise
help

Chapter 2

i built wall at 5000000 stones per second to stop a skeleton
made house big enough so that when I wake up the force of raising my head doesn't push me out of the premises
something just negated space … … .
it must be a G-Demon Skeleton
jesus christ what was that
whatever it was, it died by the hand of the Sun

Chapter 3

hole got deeper
oh my god, the skeleton is still shooting through the tiniest slit in the wall…
i can hear bubbling
is it water, lava, or slime
a deep cumvein
pretty excited to crack one of these cobblestone blocks apart and have lava consume my bod

Chapter 4

uhhhh there was some person staring at my house from a distance and then they disappeared
the pit is big
Super Deep Caliph Borehole 506
oh my god whatwas that noise
uhhh am I about to die
killed a skeleton but also something exploded, revealing a Deeper Hell below
how do I get more meat

Chapter 5

really enjoying the early morning view from my demesne's roof of skeletons combusting along the horizon
something laughed