Beaumont Hemorrhoids

The Beaumont Hemorrhoids are the ultimate butt affliction and are named after the Beaumont Family whose clansmen must endure the symptoms for their lifetime. This has made them incredibly angry, and it is possible that Beaumont hemorrhoids was what started the Beaumonts vs. Draculas War Saga. It is legend that a master Dracula cursed the Beaumonts with having lifelong hemorrhoids, and for this, the Beaumonts swore the ultimate revenge. Simmon Beaumont is legendary for having defeated a Dracula twice, the second time after being cursed by the Dracula with the Super Beaumont Hemmorrhoid Curse. The Curse affected a wide radius around the Dracula, and caused villagers to develop their own hemmorrhoids. In retaliation, the villagers gave Simmon false hints and tips, most being elaborate ploys to get Simmon to kill himself, like by bashing his head into a cliff.

Beaumont hemorrhoids are almost unparalleled in the afflicted's amount of swelling and butt pain. Beaumont clansmen train hard to reduce the tremendous pain and have adopted the stance of constant constipation to increase their pain threshold. It is not known how effective this practice is. Many of the Beaumonts' family physicians have suggested the intake of fibers, but not one Beaumont has followed this advice. All have instead opted for a 100% red meat diet.

Many adventurers refer to Dracula castles as Castleroids, a reference to the connection between Dracula and Beaumont Hemorrhoids, and Draculas' personal love for hallways lined with fleamen. Draculas do not like this.