Bogline Goblin

Bogline Goblins are a species of goblin known for inhabiting the boundaries of bogs. They are very territorial and are responisble for as many as ten human deaths each year. In Hothole, they are known as a menace to the bog tourist industry. For this reason, the more rural counties of Hothole oft hold great bogline goblin hunting contests. Many animal activists are seemingly blind to the plight of the bogline goblin. It is uncertain why the bogline goblin is so neglected, but Dr. Cockus said, "The bogline goblin just isn't cute enough to arouse either the well-learned raminist-anarchist scholar in their 200's or the studious bingler who stays cramped up in their cave examining the philosophy of bingledorps. Hence, the bogline goblin is due for extinction with no one to love it. It is a sad and cruel fate." In addition to that, scientists have discovered a goblin-hating gene found in all humans. The combination has led to a strong and general distaste for the bogline goblin who is especially more goblin-like and just more plain smelly in all its capacities than the average goblin.

Some scientists say that bogline goblins are the number one reason bogs are so awful and smelly. The goblins protrude a ferocious odor to drive out trespassers from pockets in their skin. These pockets hold a special gland that discrete air similar to that our human butts produce. Other biologists theorize that the goblins merely fart a lot. They reason that the bogline goblins are always in a state of severe depression, possibly because they keep farting on each other. There is a strong distrust and disgust for their own kind. Furthermore, bogline goblins are highly individualistic despite its numerous shortcomings in such a dangerous environment such as the bog. Goblins in general have always been a communal species. The fact that bogline goblins have stopped this ancestral tradition, despite their high morality rate, has been used as evidence toward the fart-hate scenario.

Among the Checkered Ramdangs, there is a myth telling of the bogline goblin's origin. They say one day Jackbiggu returned to the g-urth. He found a goblin and was terribly confused by how putrid and ugly it was. The Slam God was troubled at how evolution worked and desired to inquire further into the goblin's strange appearance. So Jackbiggu kidnapped the goblin and showed it up at the Mead Hall. All the other Slam Gods were terribly disgusted, except for Thrusticle. Thrusticle, frustrated at mankind's lack of physical prowess, suggested to not only keep the goblin species but to transform it further into a pure vessel of hate. He theorized that a truly terrible goblin would spark the humans into hunting them. This would be a way of influencing mankind to take up more muscular activities. Humans had been a few thousand years into the agricultural revolution, and none of the Slam Gods were that thrilled at the humans' new-found idleness.

However, most of the Slam Gods disagreed with Thrusticle's decision. Despite their distaste for the goblin, they all began to pity it so Jackbiggu returned the goblin to g-urth and apologized, giving the goblin an ice-cream popsicle. Thrusticle was greatly furious. Thrusticle sneaked onto g-urth and found that very same goblin. With a mighty incantation from his fist, the goblin evolved into the bogline goblin as known today. Upon corrupting the creature, Thrusticle was swept by so much profound regret, he banished the goblin into a bog and never mentioned the events again. When he learned that there was a human witness, an ancestor of the Checkered Ramdangs, he vowed to slowly kill off all his descendants.