First Appearance Episode 500:
Title Dragon of the Highlands
Rank Unaffiliated beast
Role Fighter/Tank
Status Dead (Corpse not found)
Cause of Death {$death}
Powers {$powers}
Abilities Ability to kick-start a friend,
or to befriend a tirtle
Grim Synergy None
Age Too long ago
Country Scotland
Height 4300 cm
Weight Unknown
Speed {$speed}
Power Level Connsiderable
Blood Type Fire
Family None
Marital Status {$martial}
Likes Delicious irony
Dislikes Misuse of irony
Treasures His pet cat, Meow
Hobbies Rolling in his treasures
Favorite Food Humans
Forte in Sports Sleep
Fighting Style Sheer brutality
Weapon of Choice Dragon Breath
Attacks -Connflagration
-Falconn Punch
Battle Cry "I'm actually impressed
by your bullshit"
Win Quote "I never lose my connfidence"
Most Unpleasant Someone being on his cast
Weakness {$weakness}
Favorite Music His breath
Personality Sm(a)ug
An unbelievably Dragon

"I'm pretty large but I don't make a big deal out of it, you know?"

-Conn on his nonchalant hugeness

"I may be casual about my hugeness but I'm certainly not casual about my AUTHENTICITY!"
Conn was a tremendously huge dragon who loved the irony of human life.


Only a few years after the Successor built the Chapel, a colossal threat arrived, threatening the young establishment's very being. The cries were stark and loud, as a mysterious shard of the Drummer, possibly reinvigorated by the concentration of Slam, started talking dirty about the Chapel's members, driving some insane. The wanton use of childishness lured the weaker men of the Chapel to join forces with the dark force. Named the Antagonist, this small fragment of the Drummer, threatened to split the Chapel into two. However, from the screams, heralded the dragon Conn into the Chapel.

Before the Chapel

Conn was born before the beginning of the world. Before the Slam Gods descended from the void, the universe consisted of bare, dry rocks. Yet still, a glimmer of life appeared. These were the ancestors of the great dragon. The aimlessness of meteors, drawn or pulled from others, eventually formed the hulls of both planets and life. As these rocks slammed into each other, few kindled, giving birth to the first fires. From those fires, rose the magnificent beasts. Conn was part of a family of meteors that all coincidentally turned into dragons. When born, he was dubbed Conchobhar or "Conn-kun" in ancient dragon tongue. They held a strong bond until the Slam Gods came, thrusting their heavenly flame into all of the universe.

While Conn was well-versed in foreign affairs as the group's diplomat, his kin were not so lucky. They argued and sneered endlessly, frothing in jealousy as the Slam Gods took away their "individuality" and stuffed it into the giant balls that littered space. In a fight with an original Slam God, the Slam God's devastating power level swept the entire group into a black hole, vacuums in space that are believed to be the byproducts of Dark Mals. Conn was spared, but this began his long grudge against the Slam Gods. While dragons were made of fire, Conn was now different. His heart was now all ice.

In addition, because dragons were born before the Babby Slam, they were not given the Gift of Death. Instead, Conn and his ilk were immortal. The Slam Gods trying to set up order in the universe, used to this their advantage. Jamboree, having watched Highlander, suggested that all beings born before the great beginning, be sentenced to the dogma: "There can only be one!" The immortals were given the knowledge that slaying another would allow the victor to absorb the other's powers. The last surviving immortal would be given "The Prize," presumably a big hug from Jamboree.

By having the immortals slay each other, the Slam Gods expected a spectacular finish. However, many immortals were suspicious and never followed along with the plan. Instead, many, like Conn, used their new-found immorality to insult the Slam Gods.

As the years went by, Conn decided to settle on the world of humans. He grew a certain fondness for the stupidity of the Slam Gods' creations, but humans, were a particular favorite. In the valley between the simple animal and the dragon, humans constituted a severe form of idiocy that intrigued Conn. And as the fates have always ordained, a brilliant sense of irony was placed on the affairs of humans. During the founding of the Chapel, Conn sensed something different. He sensed a brimming potential of knowledge. Wanting something different than looking at the morons that settled outside his cave in Scotland, Conn traveled to Finland. He took refuge in the highest mountain nearby, and took a steady gaze at the Chapel's progress.

Might of the Dragon

When Antagonist began making trouble in the Chapel, Conn swelled up in intense anger. Reminded of what the Slam Gods did to his old tribe, Conn swept down from his mountain, Mighty Mountain, and with a shot of fiery blaze, the Antagonist was reduced to ash. His ashes were taken by a group of prisoners of war who realized their wrongs. They were to bury his ashes to a place far from the Chapel and never return. Conn was considered the Protagonist. Conn did not like the name at all and suggested his real name. The Chapelpeople were dumbfounded by the strange tongue so Conn shrugged and asked the Chapelpeople to call him "Conn" instead. Despite being a dragon, the Successor gracefully invited him to the Chapel's discussions.

As the years went by, Conn, wary of the stupidity of humans, began to visit less and less. His remarks grew ever more rude and snide. So severe was this bitterness, that when a mysterious sheet of Grim settled upon the Chapel, all eyes went to Conn. The Chapel was in an ill state. Diplo and the Successor had split. Most of the members either died or refused to go back to the Chapel, and a bunch of hooligans in the Chat Tavern scared away any potential newcomers. Nevertheless, the bitter climate was considered the effect of Conn's presence. Dragons were often known for changing the weather where they resided. Of course, psychological climates were unheard of.

Yet in a sheer push of ignorance, the Successor demanded Peklo and his band of warriors to enter Might Mountain and slay the mighty Conn, once the fabled "protagonist" of the Chapel. Strangely enough, Conn would go on prove the lies shortly before. Angry about a missing book, Conn began to rampage all around the Chapel, burning several towns. Evidence points toward a ruse by Successor. Successor, aware of all the hatred toward Conn, used it as an opportunity to spike up activity. He stole into Conn's cavern and took the precious book, How to Fatten Your Cat in One Week.

An earlier attempt by Successor was to trick Lotus into thinking Conn was actually Devin Meroslouch, a friend of Giz, most hated man in all of the Chapel. When Giz and Conn went into a confrontation with Lotus about Hero's fat, a terrible battle erupted, taking 3,000 townsfolk. However, upon Giz and Conn's constant bickering, Lotus asked if Meroslouch was here. After a period of befuddlement, they realized it was the long arm of Successor. They did nothing about it. Another interesting fact about the battle was that upon finding out Conn was Concobhar, she mistakenly called him Concobar. It is said Conn held a grudge against her till the day of his death.

The battle was fierce. Conn's scales were seemingly impenetrable. He had bathed in personal treasures for centuries, and now all that gold and literature was embedded upon his body, forming a strong armor not just of metal, but of love. However, Peklo, always the hater, knew he could counteract this. With a mighty swing of his axe, Peklo penetrated the one weak spot in Conn's belly. Conn bellowed a million flames in agony, unintentionally killing off half of Peklo's band of dwarves. The beast was nearly slain but he still held up a hearty and admirable stance, ready to brawl.

Finally, from the light of the cavern, emerged Hero. He guffawed and sang tales of irony, in all ways possibly wrong. Conn was so disgusted that his chest wound burst. The dragon was slain. A few days later, an expedition was made to retrieve Conn's carcass and celebrate. However, when the group stumbled upon the cavern, there was no corpse to be seen…