Crimm NL

Crimm NL is a purported criminal who claims he is not such. The destruction of at least five countries has been attributed to him, and although Crimm NL has denied this, trace amounts of materials unique to each country have been found on his person from stealth-samples taken off of his clothing.

In order to avoid questioning and being photographed in public, Crimm NL donned a spiky suit of armor that was five-hundred feet thick and had a set of treaded wheels on the bottom. Crimm NL briefly made national headlines when he was found in ditch and unable to move, with his suit's missile volley feature activated and exploding the area around him. As no one could approach him, bystanders simply had to stand by and watch as Crimm NL violently excavated the earth and irregularly descended for about two miles before his missiles ran out. Once this happened, a crane was brought to hoist him back up, but Crimm NL had accidentally situated himself right above a weak-ceilinged enormous cave, and broke through, falling an unknown amount of miles.

Crimm NL was sighted resurfacing a year later, his suit encrusted by a geological superstructure comprised of diamonds, lava, and statactites. Soon afterwards, he bought a castle in Glumshire, and, in an ostensible gesture of ethicality, hired unionized masons to mine the minerals surrounding his armor and body and convert these into stonework to reinforce the castle. This done, he renamed the castle Absolute Pit of Evil Castle, and invited journalists to attend a private dinner where they all fell into a five-hundred mile deep hole covered by a trapdoor.