Cryptogeology is the study of photographs of strange landforms.



In the Second Age the first cryptogeologist, Dr. Rumblegravel the Hardly, discovered a photograph of half a hole. Using many delicate and tiny instruments he designed and built himself, he was able to measure the Hugeness and Mystery level of the landform found in the photo. Applying Thumber's Prize-winning Equation, he calculated the hugeness to be approximately 1/4 that of a regular hole; however, its mystery level was double, balancing out to exactly half a hole. Long thought to be an impossible structure, this photograph marked the beginning of cryptogeology.


Since then many photographs of landforms have appeared and been verified by leading cryptogeologists, including:

Smountains (secret mountains)
Slaughter Plateaus
Grinning Canyons
"The God Cavity"
Elevated Plains
Shaky Hills
Naturally occurring haunted houses
An exact replica of the Chapel made out of terrifying stone
Soap Bubble Mountain
Crack Chutes
Power Geysers
Rivers hiding behind some bushes
An ocean that's only visible when someone looks at it
What looks like a horrible tooth sticking up out of the ground


Golems are of particular interest to cryptogeologists due to their elusive nature. Although these creatures have never been photographed, a photograph of someone attempting to take a photograph of one has been used to verify their existence. Thought to be of some height and weight, the composition of golems is a field of active research. Some believe golems are made out of the wishes of the strongest who have died, while others believe they're made of accreted fear particles emitted by children in reaction to stories about golems.

Their diet is believed to consist mainly of pounding their heads into big rocks and chunks. This comes from a fear of getting their unwashable, quasi-corporeal hands dirty.

Noteworthy Golems:
Abyssal Gorgeous