Donald Rump

A horrendous sunblasted man who, like an eternal teenanger, cannot stop having impudent bonners and insisting that he knows more than anyone else. Rump is a Slamerican business magnate, investor, screaming face, television personality, author, intellectual terrorist, politician, and the only sentient being to approach the bullshit levels of Dook Broogem, even taking into account the Dark Slam Gods. His past-times include making money, making more money, and making yet even more money. He is fond of funding air shows where the jets spell out "RUMP is NOT a DUMP" and "HEY. I HAVE MONEY. WHAT DO U THINK ABOUT THAT" with toxic smoke that is emitted from the jets' butts.

Rump is well known for covering up his balding head with a dead bird that was flattened innumerable times by a steamroller. Rumor has it that this bird was the last of its kind — a testament to the wealth of Rump.

Rump is currently running for the office of King of the Tower of Bowel, the tallest freestanding structure in Slamerica, but also its most unstable. Experts estimate that the Tower, which is built on the edge of a cliff, will collapse along with the cliffside into a Dracula Hole if even a single pig-disgusting Slamerican occupies it. Rump calls these conjectures "poopycock" and "bogwash", and has every intent of stuffing his disgusting body into the Tower A.S.A.P.

Legend has it that Rump is a goblin, and that if his true name is guessed correctly he will be banished back to his subterranean kingdom.

Some also say that Rump is in fact Tom Tit Tot.