Dong Dracula

Dong Dracula is a dracula prized for its flattened cranium. This particular dracula moved to the Land of Taiyou where it drowned in anime. After its carcass subsumed the anime, it rose back to life as Dong Dracula. Dong Dracula is having problems living in the Land of Taiyou because of his need for virgin (to bodybuilding) blood, a rarity in the modern world.

A Beaumont, Hellsinger Beaumont, has tracked Dong Dracula down, but has a severe case of Beaumont Hemorrhoids. Hellsinger Beaumont is also a vocalist of a metal band, "You Got Dang Bathead." He uses his hemorrhoids to accentuate his powerful growling with true ass-agony. Hellsinger hopes to save up enough from concert profits to travel to Dracula's castle, which is located in another two, necessitating the purchase of a train ticket.