Dragbriel Vamblin

Dragbriel Vamblin is a Dracula created from Gabriel Goblin's blood. He took an Unbelievably Dump and tore his butt apart. The resulting crimson wave seeped into the ground, and Gabriel Goblin's blood — being acidic from his diet consisting of spider spices — began to create a Dracula hole. Naturally, adjacent Draculas were lured into the hole, whereupon the acidic "sangre salsa" devoured them.

Gabriel Goblin quickly abandoned his home, citing structural problems caused by the new Dracula hole. Upon the abode's abandonment, the sinister D.e.m.o.n.s.c.r.e.s.t.s. collected the blood samples and devised a plan to create Big Butt Draculas to combat the Big Butt Satans. The plan ended in massive failure when they discovered that the Dracula they created was a total drag to be around! This Dracula was completely emotionless, and D.e.m.o.n.s.c.r.e.s.t.s. scrapped the project.

Dragbriel stumbled around the city, D.e.m.o.n.s.c.r.e.s.t.s. City (also their secret hideout), and began to slambang any Big Butt Satans in his path with his genetic memory of Brutalswing, a favorite among buttslayers. This caught the attention of K'sobek, a member of the Brotherhood of Adluts. The Brotherhood of Adluts decided to employ the Dracula with an offer of chocolate coins, but Dragbriel just stared blankly at the Brotherhood courier until the courier scrambled for an escape. Hoping Dragbriel to be as gullible as his father, K'sobek rearranged the furniture in Dragbriel's path to lead him to various evil corporations. To make the plan fool-proof (as Dragbriel was an immense fool), K'sobek got the assistance of Gabriel Goblin's son, Trevor Goblin, now dubbed Aluvor C. The C. is rumored to stand for caca.

Aluvor C.'s origins are uncertain (because Thernz never bothered to record his life like Gabriel's) but it is likely that Trevor Goblin fell into the sinister toilet/Dracula hole, letting the blood consume him, turning Trevor into a melancholy-powered Dracula. Aluvor C. adopted Gabriel's trademark wandering, and eventually got employed by K'sobek. Most interaction between Aluvor C. and Dragbriel consisted of awkward elevator rides and awkward glances toward each other. They eventually subsumed the Satan Slam Plan into their street fumbling.

Exploits of Dragbriel in the city include failing to stop a gas plot by the sinister BIOQUIMEK Corporation, and murdering the CEO of an arms manufacturer by leading the CEO into his mind, a.k.a. a pocket dimension within the innards of a Hell Castlevania Buttlord. Upon wandering into an abandoned conclave, Dragbriel found Coxxus possessing the body of a Burgburg priest trying to conjure up Satan. The two had a dispute earlier over Satan's gambling losses. K'sobek was a contrarian to this, having an incredible hatred of Coxxus after Coxxus forced him to read 10,000 pages of badly written manuscript. Aluvor C. and Dragbriel decided to let him finish summoning Satan out of not caring.

K'sobek, feeling betrayed, teleported into the conclave to personally slam Dragbriel and Aluvor C. but it was all for naught as Dragbriel personally destroyed K'sobek with acidic vomit. Dragbriel and his dumpire buddy left for the Final Slamdown where it all began, Gabriel Goblin's abandoned toilet. Being a source of immense Dracula death, Satan thought it a fitting place for his earthly resurrection. Having second thoughts (he wasn't sure why he was being resurrected in the first place), Satan decided to have a decoy take his appearance. The King of All Butt Satans became his replacement. Unfortunately, the King of All Butt Satans's one personality quirk was being irredeemably evil. In Hell, this was balanced out by his severe wimpiness. On G-Urth, this was a slightly more significant threat.

Dragbriel defeated the King of All Butt Satans riding his Spacewhale, foiling the King's plot to scorch the world in Spacewhale's Big Bang. The major flaw in the keikaku was that Spacewhale was mysteriously covered in climbing pegs.

The media conglomerate M.E.G.A. somehow managed to film all of Dragbiel's exploits in D.e.m.o.n.s.c.r.e.s.t.s. City and marketed the compiled and edited footage to people worldwide as a gripping, game-changing documentary entitled "I Slam in the Back of my Dragula." Several lengthy trailers were released, showing a lethargic Dragbiel limply facing titanic, demonic enraged foes and then slamming each for ten minutes straight. To date, only one person (who requests to remain anonymous) has bought the film.

Dragbriel still stumbles around till this day and occasionally appears as a jobber in WHAMESCO

List of Fighters Superior to Dragbriel

  • Golgruff Guards, Satan's personal guard of Warhammer 40k Space Marines
  • Fences
  • Tree
  • Pits (even though Dragbriel is immune to fall damage)
  • Lightning Baldkin, the Second Acolyte of Satan

Casualties Caused by Dragbriel

  • Various equipment