Traditional Fishing


Fishing is the activity of trying to throw fish. Fish are normally thrown in the wild. People use fishing to catch fish, causing the causality dilemma of "Which came first? The Fish or the Fished Fish?" to come into being. The dilemma stems from the observation that all fish are caught from thrown fish and all thrown fish are first caught.

Fisherpeople are usually judged on the criterion, "How alive does the fish look when it flops upon impact?"

Natural Fishing

Sometimes, fish appear to have been victims of fishing, when they are simply flopping on the ground naturally. An adventurer first discovered this while traversing a forest and being suddenly slapped by a flopping fish. He believed it to be the work of a higher power, judging by the fact that the fish was 1000 kilometers from shore. When asked to comment on this, scientists concluded: "Fish are just very powerful."

It's been said by witty philosophers that "Fishes are the best fishers." In recent history, one fish did indeed win a fishing tournament by entering the tournament and flopping rapidly in each round it participated in. Unfortunately, the fish died during the award ceremony, having finally ran out of breath.

Fishing, Deconstructed

Another form of fishing that's rising in popularity, deconstructed fishing is throwing pieces of fish one by one. It's a statement on the ontological instability of the definition of a fish.

Deep Sea Fishing

Tossing fish into an ocean. Skill is judged on how deep the fish initially reaches upon Slam. The world record is Nightmare slamming a 15km salmon into the bottom of the Mariana Trench.



A recent, modernist form of fishing where people use UFL to convince fish to leap into their hands. Decried by traditionalists for "missing the point", involving "too much respect for the other party," and "I'll throw anything I want whether it's convinced or not!!!"