Genius Skeleton Archer

A mysterious skeleton archer.

Before it was discovered, people would find themselves mysteriously pierced by arrows seemingly from out of nowhere. Scholars were puzzled over these occurrences, and dubbed them Mysterious Phenomena Originating from the Dark Slam Gods (MPODSLAM, pronounced "M. POD SLAM").

It wasn't until Diplo began excavating and building subterannean structures that he saw the skeleton, who was shooting at him to prevent him from continuing his work. Diplo pushed the skeleton off a cliff and down a hundred miles, thinking that would do it in. Unfortunately, the skeleton kept shooting even from such a distance. Angered, Diplo went down and shoved the skeleton again, making it tumble down for five hundred miles. Believing this to have done it in, Diplo resumed his work, only to be shot at again. Furious, Diplo pushed the skeleton off another cliff into a thousand-mile deep chasm, but it still continued to shoot. Finally giving up, Diplo built a wall at 5,000,000 stones per second to negate the arrows and continued his work.

This was the most famous encounter with the skeleton, and Diplo later made his report and received many prizes, including the Ho Most Cliff Pusher Award and an honorary placard, pictured below.


Incidentally, this was also the only encounter with the skeleton anyone has ever had. Despite this, the skeleton is famously attributed the quote: "I refuse to not be a hawkeye."