Ghostwriter are mysterious ghosts who uphold the status quo. They stalk the presence of prominent leaders, diplomats, and other high-ranking men, and rewrite the intellectually-stifled garbage the oligarchy produces into sweeping speeches of infinitely emotional caliber.

It is unknown why these ghastly intelligentsia are so interested in constructing the appeal of sleazy kings and their politicians, but their beneficiaries do not mind at all. Most do not even realize that a ghostwriter was responsible for a rewrite. They merely take the rewritten material, stare at it dumbfounded, and go along with it, believing it to be the grace of the Neo Slam Gods.

Ghostwriters are thought to be a part of the Muscleminati, a cabal that allegedly conspires to control world affairs in secret. If seen, Ghostwriters usually resemble flaming skulls.