Goober Fish

The goober fish, also known as the "fumbo fish" or the "maximum chump fish", is a commonly recognized marine organism for its bio-luminescent capabilities, unending teeth, and astonishingly stupid face. Natural philosophers believe that the goober fish is, in fact, one of the most intelligent creatures on the planet; however, because of social anxiety, it evolved to have a face that would discourage interactions. The goober's body is covered in little hatchets that when opened lead to portals to the Hades Universe. In circles that worship The Darkness, the goober fish is revered as a portal to truth.

Efforts have been made to count the teeth of a goober fish. This has proven to be difficult, as the fish loses and regrows scores of teeth every quarter of a second, even after it has died. Some scientists have proposed to round the number up to a million and call it good so that exorbitant government funding can stop being allocated to Super Eye Lords — people recognized for their ability to count up to three cars passing by — for the studying of this subject, and be redirected to more pressing studies, such as how angry a Mega Demon can get.