Guan Yu

Guan Yu is a Dragonese deity and immortal shadow dwarf who attained godhood when people kept finding him adorned in a shrine on the walls of their stores and restaurants. Because of this, he became the icon of brotherhood, as those who had seen Guan Yu now shared a familial bond. Guan Yu is thus credited with inventing the Dragonese ethnicity.

Guan Yu usually appears dressed in beautiful flowing robes, armed with a green halberd, and with the face of a very constipated peach. The halberd is said to weigh over several trillion kilograms. Guan Yu appears to be a Bubba, for his robes hide a stellar bod; moreover, he is as still as the G-Urth itself, and yet he appears everywhere like he is very fast. Once, two neighbors decided to bring the Guan Yu shrines they saw in their businesses to dispel the rumor that Guan Yu was really fast, and that Guan Yu was actually an invasive alien species. When the two met to exchange the statues, both their heads were cut off. Since then, it was prohibited to extract a Guan Yu from its natural habitat.

One particularly famous Guan Yu shrine traveled with two sworn brothers, Liu Bei and Zhang Fei who claimed Guan Yu was also their sworn brother. When the two left Fan Castle unattended with the Guan Yu inside, two rival kingdoms flooded the castle and the Guan Yu disappeared. Liu Bei and Zhang Fei were so angered by this that their faces turned red and they each turned into a Guan Yu shrine.

Before Liu Bei transitioned to Guan Yuhood, he tried to avenge Guan Yu and Zhang Fei's death at Yiling, but his forces were obliterated by a fire attack. As enemy general Lu Xun approached the main camp, he heard Liu Bei's men scream, and, upon opening Liu Bei's tent, he was startled to find a giant Guan Yu shrine staring back at him. He later took it home to be a shrine for his fire arrow business.

Since the invention of the boat, Guan Yu has invaded almost every other continent in the world. The last continent untouched is that of Old Finland. Nevertheless, Guan Yu plans to take his conquest to space in the coming years.