Jerk Meerrod

Jerk Meerrod was an archaeologist responsible for finding the geriatric drug snaffburn that, when consumed, gifts the user with a limited period of prescience. Snaffburn became a large export in Meerrod's native Martinettio, and ended up having very negative side-effects on its users. It was strongly addictive, perhaps moreso than reading books, and slowly changed the organs of the user so that it could only accept snaffburn as nutrition. Despite snaffburn's dangerous effects, it was seen as a necessity.

It was the era of Mega Demons, and the only way to combat the dangerous monsters was to flee. Snaffburn could be used to predict when a Mega Demon was to strike, or, sometimes, who would become a Mega Demon. In the case of the latter, the person's head was bangled up into ten-thousand pieces, usually by the local butcher (who came to be seen as a mythic protector in their region). Jack Meerrod decided to open up a business, for only he had the knowledge of the location of pure snaffburn. Competitors had to resort to cultivating snaffburn and, without the necessary knowledge of its nutritional requirements, many shipments were polluted by a weaker strain of snaffburn called snuffhog.

Fleeing from Mega Demons intensified, and the need for large quantities of pure snaffburn arose. People hammered away at Meerrod's door, pleading for the location of his superior specimens. Meerrod refused; he was fully consumed in loathsome greed. Finally, a vagabond, rumored to be the legendary Loins MacDaddy, crushed open Meerrod's door with the terrible Zeta Zeta Dung Punch. As people flooded Meerrod's manor, they discovered numerous droppings of Mega Demons and the heads of children (Meerrod was adlut) strewn on his bedroom walls. The mayor, in a panic, ordered a bulldozer to ram the manor down immediately while everyone was still inside. The circumstances of a Mega Demon's birth were still unknown at the time, so many people believed that it was an airborne disease rather than moral negligence.

Meerrod and the location of pure snaffburn was never found. The continuous production of snuffhog deteriorated until it lost all of the medical properties it was lauded for. It is now used to feed pigs. Subsequent scientific studies linked consumption of snaffburn to increased demonic tendencies — the trigger to becoming a Mega Demon. The reasoning was that the average human would become a jerk if he or she could tell the future and manipulate events into their favor.

Meerrod is still missing, and remains a Class Omega-Satan Threat.