Mam Mal Slamson
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"That is not possibility of me."

-Mam Mal on his lingual limitations

Mam Mal Slamson is a mysterious wanderer who found himself in the terrible company of the Cult of Diplo. Juts Beaumont, increasingly frustrated with his Antique Table, finally resolved to sell it off. It reached the hands of Mam Mal Slamson for a discounted price after all other potential buyers left in disgust after it blurted something about "IGA cock." In a twist of logic, Mam Mal Slamson befriended the Antique Table after they discovered they shared the same fondness to hate everything.

Though they spent many nights together in Jut's Farm, Mam Mal Slamson sensed a feeling of unease in Antique Table. It bitterly whimpered about "Dungeon idiots" and other strange terms Mam Mal Slamson did not understand. One day, after they spotted what looked like a large turd in the sky, the table began speaking nonsense about the Chapelpeople like it knew them. While he feared even distant association with the Chapelpeople, he kept close to the table, but then one morning, it vanished from his bed sheets.

After a week of searching, Mam Mal Slamson found himself in Lapekto (it was taking a pit stop to replace its propellers with something actually functional). While he found the Antique Table, he went unnoticed for a year by everyone else. Presently, his presence is acknowledged by some people.

Mam Mal is an ardent historical revisionist, and loves to write arguments that historical events were full of anime situations. He published an entire series of novels documenting the Slam vs. Ram Conflict and how it was actually a real life slice-of-life anime. Mam Mal desperately wants the third edition of a record of the Dark Slam Gods written to make them all anime girls which has yet to be localized outside of Land of Taiyou because of the interfering policies of international cultural protection agencies like WHAMESCO.

Possibly related to the Son of Slam.