Missionary Slamdown

The Missionary Slamdown at Los Diablos Murderhell Ridge, Gobliceco, was a stand off between Slammers and Rammers during the Slam vs. Ram conflict. Unlike most battles during the war, it was hosted by WHAMESCO, and very little slamming or ramming was involved. Missionaries numbering in the hundreds from both faiths squared off on a completely flat plane, howling, "Ai-ooh" and "Wo-lo-lo" to convert the other side to their faith.

A flat plane was decided upon for the battleground for maximum fairness, but most of the audience deemed it maximum boring. The Rammers suffered a crushing defeat. While the Slammers were able to individually convert Rammers, Rammers operated in groups and exhausted their faith together on a single Slammer. The Rammers dwindled down to the dozens in the first five minutes. Rammers began to try to flee, but upon receiving topography reports from their intelligence, they realized that the great numbers of the Slammers were far more than they imagined, and every square foot of the plain was covered in Slammer. A few Rammers committed suicide.

The remaining Rammers were lost on the boundaries of the battlefield and had to be led back in like cattle for an unceremonious conversion. Total victory lay in the Wo-lo-los of the Slammers. Rare video footage exists here. It is the only footage of any Slam vs. Ram conflict battle.