Muscle Grandpa

Muscle Grandpas are believed to be the result of a natural Godtastrophe. One day while walking through elevated plains of G-Urth, the original muscle elemental was struck by a meteor with such hugeness that it exploded him in .000001 seconds. However, .0000001 seconds before exploding, the muscle elemental managed to pull off one final flex, causing the explosion to spray muscle matter all over G-Urth. Over many years, lightning strikes, thunder tumbles, and bonestorms continuously slammed the remaining muscle chunks until they slowly became sentient. It is said that the lightning gave them life, the thunder gave them their tremendously powerful but vestigial genitals, and the bonestorms formed their primitive bonecloths.

Filled with the natural need to reproduce, these living muscle slabs constructed crude arenas using their bonecloths, and began wrestling naked for hundreds of thousands of years. Frustrated that all of their headlocks, deadlocks, and deltoid locks were not producing any offspring, the muscles began to weep salty sweat, which fell upon the ground of their arenas. From these sweatears, the first men and women began to emerge. Originally these men and women lacked the tremendous muscle power of their ancestors, however they were born with the ability to reproduce through sex. From the high amounts of salt in the sweatears that created them, the muscle gene formed and began to express itself in their offspring (and also rendered their genitals vestigial again. See: Human Pumphole), creating all of the musclemen and musclewomen of G-Urth. Two generations removed from these musclemen, the original muscle slabs became known as The Muscle Grandpas.

The only Muscle Grandpas known to exist to this day are Jim Jinpanchi and Jin Jimpanchi, although both of them refuse to confirm this creation story, leading some to doubt its validity.