Neato Benito

Neato Benito is the personification of death. Originally, he was a legendary warrior who dreamed of becoming the most strong, not unlike anyone else who has ever existed. The difference was that Neato Benito was born relatively early in the era of mankind, and this allowed him to claim a title of divinity. His divinity rose from rumors that Neato Benito loved to cover himself in bones.

Although Neato Benito did cover himself in bones, he did not love it. He was merely trying to attain the best defense mechanism possible. In this Age Before Stone, the hardest material known to humans was their own bone.

Neato Benito's defense "mechanism" was him coupling skeletons with a pool of mud and rolling around in it until the bones became part of his mass: an extra layer of protection over his skin. When the bones fell off, Neato Benito would repeat the process. Eventually, all his rolling in the grossest places led to him becoming a vessel of disease and filth; and the bones he stuck to himself finally admitted defeat and stopped falling off. Neato Benito soon discovered a greater way to amass bones — rather than dueling weak people individually, he spread maladies throughout the Slamdom.

Eventually, he accidentally killed off half the human population, and is partially responsible for the modern species of mankind. Instead of being the patron deity of eugenics, he was framed as the patron deity of general death.

Neato Benito finally died when he stepped on a fire, not aware of its dangerous effects. He already had a great fear of fire the few times he had witnessed it, but upon killing half the population, his fear shut off for an unfortunate second. His death ironically led to the development of funeral pyres.

Neato Benito continues to amass bones onto his outer form in the afterlife.