Poisonous Wu

Poisonous Wu, the Great Boxer of Xuan Wu, was the leader of the Turtle G-Urth Devil Cult who amassed infamy through the Jianghu with his extreme martial arts. Under the guidance of Xuan Wu, the Black Warrior of the North, he was blessed with tremendous luck and ability. However, in order to learn the Final Technique, he castrated himself and broke his sword to transcend his swordplay from the two swords. While he sustained his infallible kung fu, Poisonous Wu failed to master the immaculate Final Technique upon learning that its secret was to accept the power of bungle — or, in his case, to accept his non-metal sword.

Poisonous Wu crossed the Gobi Desert and slew the entire Deviljho Rights Sect, staged a coup in the Dugu State and restored Shaolin, disproved neigong in a one page thesis, dismantled the Bunglers' Sect all across the world, and befriended Enoch, but was unable to rediscover the power of bungle. Despite his overwhelming glory, Poisonous Wu (now dubbed the Duke of Wuhan) began to slither into the underworld. The pitiful eunuch sought the aid of mystics such as Uighur the Amorous Mystic of Xinjiang. But upon repeated failures, Poisonous Wu's indulgence in the black market magics stirred many catastrophes throughout The Land of Dragons, until Xuan Wu personally came to Poisonous Wu and offered for marriage his most beautiful bone, Shi Shegui.

Wu and Shegui successfully copulated, and they had the famous Goblin fiction author Thernz the next day. Xuan Wu subsequently executed Poisonous Wu for tossing away his faith for the great tortoise, who had actually planned for Wu to beget a child from his very own belly on the day of his death. The punishment was a hundred days of water torture. The Southern Oracle of Wang has theorized that part of Poisonous Wu's po, his spirit of metal, did not ascend but melded into the young Thernz's spirit. So, in a sense, Wu lives on in Thernz's craving for guilinggao, a black turtle jelly.