Shlamu

Shlamu is the only whale in the world that can slam. It was acquired by WHAMESCO for its marine demon park, G-WORLD, wherein Whamesco wrestlers hold performance art with wild marine devils, such as molluskmaniacs, hammerbody fullsharks, and protein-diet piranhas.

The acquisition of Shlamu was a year-long mission. Whamesco commissioned the Chapel to capture the whale. Among the team were veteran-killers Diplo, Antique Table, and Giz. A few minutes after their boat launched, Giz fell overboard and could not be retrieved because the Dour Sea's marine life got to him before anyone could reach him. Foul play was also involved: beforehand, Giz and a crew-member were arguing about the social ramifications of Top Bobb pamphlets. The argument concluded when the crew-member threw an anchor into Giz's jaw, pushing him overboard.

Giz washed ashore a few weeks later. It is said this was actually a great favor for him, seeing as how he had a 99% chance of True Death had he stayed on the mission, due to Extremely Probably Disaster Circumstances. The boat broke in two during the mission, and 3/4 of the team drowned in the stormy waters. It is uncertain how Shlamu was captured, but Diplo and Antique Table never dared to gaze upon Shlamu after the mission. When an interview was conducted with Diplo, the interviewer tried to hassle Diplo into giving the story on Shlamu, to which Diplo only replied, "Rock, slam, wham."

Shlamu was not only an exception among whales — more specifically, it was a Killer Killer Whale, eternal predator of the Killer Whale. It was the only of its kind to slam, and the only one to survive captivity for more than a few months, probably because it managed to kill all the wrestlers it participated with. Performances with Shlamu became a sacred retirement rite for many washed-out Whamesco wrestlers who wished to retain their honor by dying at the hands of the world's coolest whale. Shlamu died of natural causes. Whamesco posthumously discovered that Shlamu was male, and not female like they had always assumed. A young boy's claim that he saw the whale growing a death erection was the sole piece of evidence for Shlamu's newly designated sex.

Shlamu's long survival within captivity still startles scientists. Little was known about Killer Killer Whales, and Shlamu's diet was usually inappropriate. Feeders fed it fish, not realizing that Killer Killer Whales subsisted on a diet of mostly Satans.