Skeleton City

A city largely erected by bones of creatures great and small. The exterior resembles a monstrous colosseum — made of bones, of course. Only skeletons are admitted. One time, a foolish man dressed up in a skeleton costume tried to gain access. The city's front gate guards quickly caught on after he could not dance the Bumble Bone Jig. They performed a perfect Trombonner Whirligig on the man, and he was no more. Skeleton City has no lighting, since skeletons can see perfectly well in the dark; thus, sneaking in during the night is just as impossible as during the day.

Non-skeletons are allowed to come near the premises, because the skeletons know that their city is impenetrable, and also because they are proud of their constant xylophone jazz concerts. These concerts are broadcast on speakers so big that the music can be heard by outsiders. No one knows what the skeletons do besides play and listen to xylophone jazz. This cultural discovery flew in the unctuous face of academicians everywhere who assumed that skeletons loved metal.

Fat skeleton birds perch on the top of the city's circular outer wall, and will exclusively swoop down to steal turkey legs from any passerby if they have such vittles on their person. Skeleton City does not smell good but skeletons don't care because they can't smell. It has been speculated that Skeleton City is in fact a part of a giant skeleton creature that has submerged most of its body beneath the g-urth, and that the skeletons have a symbiotic relationship with it.


Skeletons of Skeleton City are known to be the best partiers; but beware of being in a skeleton's party, for if they do not see you partying, they will force you until you die of exhaustion, strip the skeleton from your corpse, and make it party with them for infinite.