Sonny Slam & Dirk Dark

Slam Shack's star actors. Sonny Slam is played by Jump Tabula, Dirk Dark by Dango Middling. Their rivalry is endless, and its intensity is such that Jump and Dango have nothing but Real Life Revulsion for one another. Each is often conceiving of ways to blow the other's mansion up through the use of long-range gunswordbombs. At the moment, Jump and Dirk are living in the fiftieth iterations of their mansions. This rivalry is the subject of the reality TV show, "I'LL VIOLENT YOU IF YOU VIOLENT ME", and, surprisingly enough, this only continues to boost the viewership of Slam Shack.

Slam Shack recently introduced the "G-DESTROY" feature. Fans representing either Sonny or Dirk call up and scream as hard as they can into a Scream Gauge Machine; these screams are compiled into an overall Scream Power Level, and at the end the actor with the highest Scream Power Level is allowed to slap the other actor. A legendary moment happened when Dirk secretly put a glove made of OMEGA A-DAMN-ANTIUM on his slaphand and slapped Sonny. The impact made Sonny fly 3.5 kilometers away, out of the studio building, and hit a skeleton made of bombs at twice the speed of sound, detonating the creature and putting Sonny in the hospital for three years.