Tales of Nightmare

"Tales of Nightmare" is a collection of stories told and/or written by Nightmare. They have been praised the world over for their violence, vague morals, and intense dislike of children. Each story features a stand-in for Nightmare named Mightflare.

Several examples follow.

Ghæhveh and the Beautiful Punk Death

One day when Mightflare was having his regular daily coffee at his usual seat in his usual outdoor café, a schoolboy came along and knocked off his turban. Unperturbed, Mightflare picked up the turban and put it back on his head. The next day, the same schoolboy came along and knocked off his turban again. Again, Mightflare just picked it up, put it back on and resumed whatever conversation he was having. When the little brat repeated the prank for the third time, his friends protested and told him to punish the boy.
"Tsk, tsk. That's not how this principle is working," said Mightflare offhandedly.
The next day, an invading army occupied the city and Mightflare did not turn up for coffee as usual. In his seat was a captain from the invading army. When the schoolboy passed by as usual, he knocked off the soldier's hat without a second thought and the captain sliced off his head with a swift single stroke of his sword.

Once a Grape, Always a Grape

Some children saw Mightflare coming from the vineyard with two baskets full of grapes loaded on his donkey. They gathered around him and asked him to give them a taste.
Mightflare picked up a bunch of grapes and gave each child a grape.
"You have so much, but you gave us so little," the children whined.
"There is no difference whether you have a basketful or a small piece. They all taste the same," Mightflare answered, and continued on his way.

Yes, No, Maybe So: Thou Dost Not Know So I Must Go

Once Mightflare was invited to deliver a sermon. When he got on the pulpit, he asked, "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "No," so he announced, "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about!" and left.
The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time, when he asked the same question, the people replied yes. So Mightflare said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time!" and left.
Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mulla to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question: "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "yes" while the other half replied "no." So Mightflare said, "Let the half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the half who don't," and left.

Hu Hu Hu's Enlightened?

Mightflare was walking in the bazaar with a large group of followers. Whatever Mightflare did, his followers immediately copied. Every few steps Mightflare would stop and shake his hands in the air, touch his feet and jump up yelling "Hu Hu Hu!". So his followers would also stop and do exactly the same thing.
One of the merchants, who knew Mightflare, quietly asked him: "What are you doing my old friend? Why are these people imitating you?"
"I have become an Iron Sheikh," replied Mightlare. "These are my Murids (spiritual seekers); I am helping them reach enlightenment!"
"How do you know when they reach enlightenment?"
"That’s the easy part! Every morning I count them. The ones who have left – have reached enlightenment!"

An Eye for an Eye, Lips for Lips

Mightflare was the judge at the time. One day a woman and a man came to him to receive his judgement on their dispute. The woman was the plaintiff.
"Mightflare," she addressed the Iron Sheik, "I was on the street walking to the grocery store, when this man, a total stranger, approached me and, to my shock and dismay, he kissed me! I want justice." Mightflare agreed with the woman.

"Good woman," he said, "you will have justice. I authorize that now you kiss him and take your revenge."

Clearing Mix-Ups, or Alternatively, How to Break a Leg

The children of the neighbourhood were in the mood for a little mischief. They sat by the stream and put their feet in the water. When Mightflare was passing by, they cried for help.
"Mightflare, Mightflare! Please help us." They were screaming all at once.
"Our feet are all mixed up, we don't know which is which. We cannot go home if we don't find our feet. Come help us figure out which foot belongs to whom!"
Mightflare was not going to be outwitted by children.
"Yes, I understand." he said amiably, "That happens sometimes. But don't worry, I know a solution." Then he grabbed a fallen branch and got into the water himself. He started to lash the kids about the legs. Each child that felt the brusque touch of the twig, jumped out of the water with a shriek and ran away.
"A-ha!" Mightflare said, "You see, now you have all found your respective feet!"