Terry Boulder

Terry Boulder is a Burgburger WHAMESCO wrestler, entrepreneur, hit man, television personality, and deity. Terry Boulder enjoyed a long period of popularity after winning MuscleMania MMCCCXLIII by destroying a boulder, then the heavyweight champion, with his bare hands. He holds one of the longest combined reigns in WHAMESCO Championships, with titles lasting from a decade to one week. In the Seventh Era of Iron, Terry Boulder retired from wrestling to become a professional arm wrestler.

He was born in Armstrong Cannon Town, but upon birth he grunted and summoned an avalanche, causing boulders to tumble down and crush his parents and a quarter of the city. Instead of ostracizing the boulders like Basil Gorgeous would do, he idolized the raw strength of the boulders, and that of the G-Urth. He forged documents to change his surname to Boulder because he was underage and parent-less. Instead of going to an orphanage, Terry Boulder lived alone in a cave several dozen miles away from the city. In middle school, Terry Boulder signed up for Little League Baseball, and convinced the league to replace the balls with rocks. Over the years, the rocks grew in size, finally becoming 20-feet-wide. In this respect, Terry Boulder is responsible for inventing baseball's dangerous brother, Killrockball, where a strike means certain death.

Terry Boulder was still dissatisfied and did not feel like he was truly a Boulder. Then one day, he accidentally fell down a pit and witnessed dwarves wrestling in a cage above lava. After being enslaved by the dwarves to create wig-beards with his long blonde hair for a decade, he escaped to the human world. But by then, the strain of creating beards from his once beautiful mane caused him to start having his iconic receding hairline. The lives of the dwarves inspired Terry Boulder to join WHAMESCO. He sneaked into the HR department and forged documents to skip the application process.

Terry Boulder is best friends with Ultimate Warrior, the patron god of Burgburg. Both love to make televised appearances and make death threats toward their rivals and the occasional nobody who managed to piss them off. They also have a shared fondness of staring at their own hands in amazement. The two share a storied history in WHAMESCO, both as allies and enemies. Despite Ultimate Warrior being responsible for destroying Terry Boulder's family for a WHAMESCO plot line, they are still A-Tier Best Friends. Rather than align with Ultimate Warrior, Terry's most renowned tag team partner was Slim n' Macho Jim Savage, with whom they formed the Mega Powers.

A one-time arm wrestling match in WHAMESCO convinced Terry Boulder to give up conventional wrestling, when he experienced the concentrated brutality of arm wrestling compared to the week-long bouts of normal wrestling matches. He has likened the feeling to drinking a cup of Hell-steaming-hot Blackest Coffee (Mottomo Burakkukōhī) in one shot. Despite his reasons, many historians attribute Terry Boulder's leave to the disdain he gathered from fans as he continued to dominate championships, even when WHAMESCO writers wrote to make him lose. In other circles, Terry Boulder is regarded as a free spirit who only wished to unchain himself from the bureaucratic processes of WHAMESCO that sought to sell character franchises instead of True Real Life Battle Tendency.

Terry Boulder was indicted and inducted into The League of Bodacious Bodybuilders after he slew a giant, Dinny the Dino, during an arm wrestling match. Terry Boulder's manager, Gemmy Hurt, rammed into the table as a diversion when he started to see Terry Boulder lose, allowing Terry Boulder to punch through his opponent's head.

Nowadays, Terry Boulder is universally hated, and a common rumor is that he was responsible for maintaining the trade of Bungle Blorps, a devilish drug, during his tenure at WHAMESCO.

Television Shows

Terry Boulder has been featured in a number of wildly successful shows.

Boulder's Heroes


A Burgburger sitcom set in a Rammer POW camp. It stars Terry Boulder as Colonel Brick Mordor who coordinates secret Slammer operations from within the camp. The show, set during the Slam vs. Ram Conflict, is largely historically inaccurate. Its premise is that the POWs are actually using the camp as a base of operations for Slammer espionage and sabotage against the Rammers. The prisoners can leave and return almost at will via a secret network of tunnels, and have flex contact with Slammer command, based in Mashchester and code named "Papa Pump". Boulder's code name is "Goldilocks." Aiding the camp is the incompetence of the camp commandant, Colonel Rammorami, and the complex motivations of Sergeant of the Guard Rammenramramram.

Rammorami and Rammenramramram are constantly at risk of transfer to Hell, and Boulder helps keep the duo in place. Rammenramramram is aware the prisoners are carrying out mischief, but deliberately ignores it to maintain the status quo, often stating "I know nothing," "I hear nothing," or "I see nothing" (sometimes all three at once, using his six vocal cords). The prisoners have tunnels to nearly every barracks and building in the camp — so much so that Boulder, in a third-season episode, has difficulty finding a spot in the camp without a tunnel under it. In the final season, the severe amount of tunnels causes the entire complex to collapse into a sinkhole.

Because the set was an authentic replication with actual tunnels, much of the film crew has been missing since the sinkhole incident. The actor Rammenramramram himself went missing, and a bowl of ramen is offered to him in tribute every month by the surviving cast.

Terry Boulder's Rock 'n' Wrestling

An animated series featuring animated adventures of popular WHAMESCO stars from the time, including its title character Terry Boulder and his group of wrestlers fighting against a group of rogue wrestlers led by Nightmare. The show follows predictable cartoon archetypes, e.g., good characters triumphing over evil-doers in wacky situations — stuff typical of children's cartoons in the Hard-Haired Era. Rarely referenced, wrestling is simply a device to determine the good guys from the bad guys. The show mainly focuses on Terry Boulder playing with rocks. It also depicts Boulder with a full head of hair, as opposed to the noticeably receding hairline he sported in the ring.

Boulder Knows Best

Boulder Knows Best is a Burgburger reality documentary television series. The series centers on the family life of Tom Boulder, often focusing on the Boulders' raising of their children, and on Terry Boulder's attempts to manage and assist his children's burgeoning careers. The title of the show is a play on the title of a show from the Book of Slams chapter, "Pumping Knows Best."

On more than one occasion, Terry Boulder schemes to spy on his daughter, True Boulder, when she is hanging out with guys. This usually ends in avalanches that seriously injure True Boulder's love interests. The show ended when True Boulder filed a restraining order against all types of rocks and boulders. Because of this, True Boulder is not allowed to be near herself and is now in solitary confinement until the Burgburg Police Department devises a way to get the Boulder out of her.