The Chapel

In an age withered away from time, a society of brazen and brave men existed along the northern winds. They followed the tenets of the Slam Gods with iron swords and brutal muscle. Merely known as The Chapel, the group was feared for its barbarian prowess, yet respected for noble heart. A society born by brotherly bonds, it is no wonder that they were often likened to a building, so tightly knot by one another that they became as fortified as stone. Their defenses were impregnable.

The Chapel was largely an independent legion without a state with departments engaged in technological and theological research. It aimed to serve the will of the Slam Gods, going on crusades against the denizens of the dark, goblins, Draculas, dodongos, and dragons.

But despite its reputation as a cultural capital, and bustling center for scholars and warriors alike, the Chapel had an underbelly of political intrigue that ultimately tore it apart in the Fall of the Chapel. Even now, its death resonates across Finland and instead of being a symbol of progress, it is seen as the harbinger of death and constant war.

The Chapel was founded by the Successor in the small village of Resonacia. Its name was either because the Successor was simply unimaginative or to mark its importance as the sole spiritual center of Finland. In either case, the word chapel became synonymous with this building. All other chapels had to be renamed "chorples," though usage of the term is still largely colloquial.

Successor's prized building was also an architectural feat. Larger than life, it was created from adamantium and mithril, meticulously mined from the depths of the Mega Mountains. It featured 10,000 washrooms, 20 Starbucks, 5,000,000 gymnasiums, and 1 bedroom gilded in 240 karat gold (the laws of nature were warped during the Chapel's construction).

When the Successor destroyed the Chapel in one blow, the debris caused the largest megatsunamis in history, and a cloud of blood and dust covered the world for a week. The Neo Slam Gods personally swiped the cloud away with a rake, but sunlight remained blocked out for a few years due to divine negligence. They were too lazy after raking the megasmog.

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It all began with a parish priest of unknown name. Taking up the duty of his slain mentor priest, name also unknown, he called himself merely the Successor. The mentor was a compassionate man and very intelligent. He spoke of great sense of justice upheld by strength and beauty. But for that he was accused by the elites in his community for corrupting the youths. One day, one of these local gentry challenged him to a holmgang. Successor’s mentor, never a fighter, just a bodybuilder, was cut down. The elite tossed his body into the swamps and records of the mentor were burned. Successor crushed an apple the day he heard of his master’s death. Honor and chivalry were some of the attributes his mentor abided by. Now, these virtues were used against him. It was despicable.

Knowing the great values of his mentor’s teachings, Successor decided to become strong to defend the virtues. Successor trained twenty-three hours a day from then on, eating only burgers and the occasional dragon. He became incredibly strong in a matter of weeks. Successor could toss strongmen from all the surrounding villages with the flick of a wrist. He never did, though; he was an absolute gentleman.

For him, the duty of continuing in his master’s footsteps meant everything. He wore a rippling crimson robe, ravished by the winds of poverty, and he held a dignified and strong bronzed face. His hair was short and tight, sporting a dark deepness of g-urth. He was a kind and oddly quiet man. Many people remarked at how easy he was to approach, how he never held down his noble sensibilities. He joked sometimes, but many knew that, for him, his duty meant everything. When preaching, he felt a warmness in his tarnished heart. He roared to the Heavens with both arms stretched out, showing the violent lines of a warrior. It is only at these times that his true colors showed — his true, beautiful colors.

And so the religion spread: the muscle cult of heart aroused even the most bitter of warriors. Successor himself would realize the monopoly he obtained. With a class of strong gallant men under his virtuous teachings, Successor had the ability to continue his mentor’s wish and create a society of great. He had to get all these great men to meet. And so he built a chapel, The Resonance Chapel, off the coast of Helsingfors. The men congregated together and they met everyday, discussing philosophy and swordsmanship, equestrianism and theology, morality and muscles. It soon became known as The Chapel, because it was simply the best chapel.