The Goblin

By pooling their lunch money together over the course of two years to secure funding, researchers discovered a dwarf planet around 2.5 times further away from the sun than Pluto. It was dubbed "The Goblin" because goblins are small and live far away, but also because — based on imaginary renderings — the planet's surface looks like a scowling goblin (or "scowblin").

Goblin societies the world over have been arranging plans to migrate to "The Goblin" as soon as they can locate, or build, a cannon big enough to fit, and blast off, every goblin and land them on the distant planet. Most recently, goblin inhabitants of Goblin Gorge believed they had found one such cannon, yet tragedy occurred when it turned out that the cannon was an active volcano.

"The Goblin" is estimated to spin 784 times per second. Goblins claim that such a short day and night cycle will maximize their efficiency.