Xylophone Jazz

A unique style of music that is performed and loved by skeletons. Unlike other forms of jazz (such as all other forms of jazz), xylophone jazz ensembles are made up of nothing but xylophones. Compositions run on the long side of things, tending to be around five hours long. This is acceptable to skeleton performers and audiences since skeletons aren't too concerned about getting anywhere in a hurry. Golden Bones, a skeleton of distinction, has taken it upon himself to write the longest xylophone jazz piece ever, and has tentatively entitled the piece "Boogie-woogie pour la fin du temps."

One of xylophone jazz's innovators was a skeleton by the name of Supraspinous Monk. Monk had a revolutionary approach to improvisation: rather than just using xylophone sticks to play, he also used most of his bodyparts. In one case, somewhat affectionately referred to as the Spun Gone Dumb, Monk threw his entire self onto a bass xylophone and began spinning at maximum. However, he spun so hard that he accidentally unleashed a hidden skeleton technique, the Zamboni Hurlwind, and destroyed all nearby listeners. Fortunately, a medic was on the scene, and pieced the ruined skeletons back together. Some who were present at the scene insist that all of it was staged by Monk as a piece of performance art.

Skeletons claim that humans have yet to properly appreciate xylophone jazz, and recommend dying to gain true aesthetic insight. Although it is true that most non-skeletons find xylophone jazz unappealing, a few anthromusical efforts have been made to reinterpret the style, the most popular example being "Spooky Scary Skeletons." Skeletons have denounced the song as racist, watered down, patronizing, impure, and silly. Alternately, the song has found a wide audience among the living.