Zokraters

Rare Geek philosopher rumored to have disappeared after a giga-meteor destroyed him. Others say he was a mysterious fairy that ascended from a crater. Others say that he was a large vase which was used to mix wine and water in Ancient Grease. The truth is that he went into hiding only to reemerge twenty centuries ago as infamous actor, director, and bodybreaker Oregano Swells.

Evidence?

Here's your evidence:

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Considered one of the most important thinkers of Antiquity, Zokraters felt he was becoming irrelevant after new work out techniques developed for several millennia. He resolved to show everyone up and made the best film of all time, Master Levels for Doom II. It was released on MS-DOS, Windows 95, Macintosh, PlayStation. The PlayStation port is considered the ultimate.

Zokraters receded into hiding when he accidentally created the auteur theory.

Zokratic Method

Zokraters' arguably most important contribution after making top shooting film Master Levels for Doom II, the Zokratic method was used to examine moral concepts by summoning meteors upon religious institutions. If religious institutions were really up to snuff, they would be able to counter meteors; otherwise, they'd just become smoldering craters. Space Sephiroth was inspired by the Zokratic method. Zokrater inadvertently allowed the Neo Slam Gods to rise in power, while every other deity got crater'd to oblivion, when he originally created the method to usurp divine power for himself. Eventually, Zokrates was cornered by the Thirty Trillion Tyrants and crater'd himself.

Works

Although Zokraters never wrote anything down (like his student Plated Ou, he used UFL), his disciples recorded his dialogues. The works were compiled into several volumes of text and, thanks to modern technology, virtual reality sparring matches.

Assorted Dialogues

  • First Rumble
  • Second Rumble
  • Apology for Breaking Your Arm
  • Critical Hit
  • Eros
  • How To Shopping For Idiot: Banana Republic
  • Fedora

Films

Zokraters's films were silent films and also communicated visually through UFL.

  • Doom
    • The Ultimate Doom
  • Doom II: Hell on Earth
    • Master Levels for Doom II
  • Doom 3
    • Doom 3: Resurrection of Evil
    • Doom 3 BFG Edition
  • Brutal Doom

Spin-offs

  • Final Doom
  • Doom 64
  • Doom RPG
  • Doom Resurrection
  • Doom II RPG
  • DoomRL